Letting Go

We have all been through difficult times and have people or issues in our past that may still be influencing us emotionally in some way today.  Below is a process that can help address these emotions and clear any blockages allowing us to move on and be more authentic.



Begin by identifying the top three traumas or emotional situations you want to let go of and the people involved with them. By letting go I mean you transmute the emotions into energies that can be dissipated. You will always have the memory but the emotional charge with it should be eliminated or, at the very least, reduced considerably.

So let’s say you have three people or issues you want to work with.

Find something physical that represents the person/issue you are working with, ideally something from nature but it doesn’t have to be. Keep this item with you when you do the next stages below. You will be letting this object go too, so make sure you are ok with that.

This step comes from a Hawaiian process called Ho’opono pono.

Firstly find a safe and private space to “work” in (I call any spiritual/emotional healing and releasing, work). Make sure you will not be interrupted. You can do this anywhere but ideally you should be sat at a table, preferably wooden.

Imagine and feel the person sat opposite you. If it is an issue and not a person, visualise the issue or yourself as you were during the issue, sat opposite.

Say to them (out loud or in your head),

“I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you”

Do this slowly, concentrating upon and feeling each sentence.

“I’m sorry” – Feel this. Feel repentance even if you know you were not at fault. Take responsibility for what happened. Somewhere guilt sits between you and the other person. Maybe you are clearing for both of you. If it is a situation let the remorse take over you. Really feel this. Let tears, sobbing flow. Even curl up on the floor in the foetal position if that’s where the pain sends you. I’ve been there. This is your time to release. Do whatever it takes to let it out from your body. Often tapping the throat, heart or belly will help the release.

“Please forgive me”. This is humility. Again even if you are convinced it was not your fault, take responsibility. Take the higher ground. And again most definitely feel this. Forgiveness clears the past. You are also forgiving yourself. Spiritually we a children. We are allowed and meant to make mistakes, they help us grow.

“Thank you”. Be in deep gratitude. For the person, for the situation that has helped you grow, for the process, for being you, for being able to take this step, for the help the universe has provided you to get you to where you are today.

“I love you”. Say this to the person or the issue and send as much love as you can out into the universe. But also realise that by saying this you are saying you love yourself too. Accept this love for yourself, you deserve it. Nothing is more powerful than love.

It may also be helpful if you can “see” the other person and notice how they react (in your mind) when you say and feel each of the above sentences.

When you are finished blow any residue emotions, feelings or energies into the object, rub it on your body, if that feels right, to draw out any further negativity and find somewhere to throw it away, even if it just in the dustbin. 

Do this for each of the people/issues you want to release energetically.

When you feel you have finished spend some time in gratitude for what you have just accomplished and if you feel drained or tired, breathe in life force and love energy, imagining yourself filling up with a life affirming, nurturing, wonderful colour or light.

Make sure you feel grounded again before carrying on with your day.