The below was written a few years ago but it feels ok to share it now.  To set it up, my mum passed in 1998 after a car accident in the UK.  This was obviously a big traumatic event in my life, as well as in my dad’s, sister’s, rest of the family, friends and the others involved directly or as witnesses to the accident.  The first part of my medicine wheel training delt with the past and traumatic events.  So this, unsurprisingly, was number one on my list to work upon.  Part of the shamanic process is to use a stone to represent the trauma. I won’t go into details as to how that happens as it is part of the training, however, suffice it to say that the stone became part of my mesa or medicine bundle and was used in healings with others.  Then a couple of years later I knew the stone and my work with the trauma was moving on….

Sunday 29^th Sept 2013 – The scene of the accident

I had planned it to happen today and made sure I did not forget by putting the mesa trauma stone in my pocket.

Having spent the weekend with friends who live just outside Ipswich, I was returning home on the A12, just as mum and dad had been doing after visiting their friends, John and Marion in August 1998. I’d passed the accident spot many times, where a car had taken off from the oncoming carriageway and collided with mum and dad’s car head on, resulting in mum passing and dad being badly injured, and I hd stopped in the same layby near the scene a few times to grieve and release but this time was different.

The mesa stone that had been with me since the South training on the medicine wheel was ready to leave. It had made this known a couple of times recently, by falling out or jumping out of my mesa medicine bundle. The stone, multi coloured rainbow jasper, had served me well as the ”trauma” stone, representing the car crash, the way it’s colours mingled with each other and it’s use had helped me deal with the tragedy.  However it was time to give it back to mother earth and see what final work it had to offer.

I came towards the Witham Bypass and the parking area and, as is often the case, the musical accompaniment was a wonderful gift acknowledging that “they” were there. The song playing as I pulled in was Heatwave’s 80’s soul classic “Mind Blowing Decisions” which has the line “mind blowing decisions causes head on collisions”. I can’t think of any other song that has “head on collisions” in the lyrics? How prophetic, apt and magical that it is playing as I arrived at the layby. I am so used to this kind of coincidence, synchronicity, spirit message, call it what you will, that I wasn’t phased by it at all. I had work to do, I knew that. This was only confirmation that the universe was working with me and maybe God or Spirit were close.

I turned the car stereo off and sat holding the stone in one hand and my mastery stone, received only a couple of weeks ago after completing the Masters Shamanic course with my Shamanic teacher Skie Hummingbird, in the other hand, and closed my eyes. I allowed my thoughts to flow and put my face into a wailing/keening pose to aid the release until it happened naturally. Images of the car wreckage, mum in dad’s arms, a last embrace and thoughts for the others involved in the accident, including the driver of the other vehicle, his wife and children on the back seat, all of whom were not seriously hurt, but have grown up with the accident in their consciousness. My thoughts even turned to those that had witnessed it or helped, they too have it embedded in their psyche. I energetically unwound mum’s chakras or body energy centres and felt her across my lap as dad had. I felt a group of shaman and tribesfolk swaying and slowly moving forward in lines either side of mum who was laid out in the centre similar to how I saw her at the hospital when I identified her body. Images came and went, emotions surfaced and tears flowed.

When it was over I left the car and walked to the embankment at the side of the layby overlooking a freshly ploughed field and startled a rabbit from its resting spot down a tunnel in the undergrowth. Am I going further down the metaphoric rabbit hole? Ploughed fields have always reminded me of my pledge to the shamanic path when I took a step forward next to a ploughed field, directly after coming out of three days of darkness at the Sacred Trust Darkness Visible retreat in Dorset a few years back.

I sat on the bank facing south, out of view of the road and looking over the field. Two crows took off in front of me as I called in the directions, N, E, S, W, Mother Earth and Father Sky and more tears. I looked down to the ground between my feet to find a spot to bury the stone and there I noticed a piece of rusted metal poking out from the earth. I pulled on it quite firmly to shift it and it came away from the entangled grass and dried mud. Could this be a part of the wreckage from the crash over 15 years ago? As coincidences go this would be a doozy. One to tell the grandkids! Looking closer at the fragment I saw some old paint and yes it was of the same colour as mum and dad’s car, a brown/grey Toyota Corolla. Maybe it is that car, maybe it isn’t. It doesn’t matter. It represents the crash to me and so I added a dab of my blood from a graze on my finger I got a little while before onto the metal and placed the stone under it, to be left here to rest as now it’s job with myself and mum is over.

I spent some time afterwards picking up rubbish that was dotted around the place and got back in my car and drove off feeling quite blessed. When I turned the stereo on again the next tune was “Yah Mo B There” by James Ingram and Michael MacDonald with the lyric “Heavenly father…just reach out and call his name”. Yah Mo B There is a derivation from Hebrew and supposedly translates roughly as “God be with you”

I like the way the colours match, another synchronicity.